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Main Problems
- The parent-child relationship becomes tense during the teenage years.
- Tension is caused by the teenagers self-realization and discovery of unique preferences.
- Family therapy is a great tool for dealing with the anger and anxiety caused by the changes.
All teenagers reach a point where they ask, Why do my parents hate me, and what can I do? For most people, adolescence signals the start of an emotionally charged period in their lives. For a few years after that, they become more convinced that their parents do not love them.
During adolescence, teenagers begin seeking autonomy. Even though their childhood was great, at some point, teenagers grow distant from their parents. Separating from parents is a natural process that should be encouraged. It prepares teenagers for adulthood. During the process, teenagers develop their ideas, preferences, likes, dislikes, and opinions on various matters. The transition can be rough for both parents and teens.
It is not easy for your parents to let you go. They have spent a large part of their lives loving, protecting, and guiding you. They have instilled their values in you because they want the best for you.
As you go through the period of self-realization, you might depart from your parents values. On the other hand, your parents will reinforce their authority and try to get you back in line. It will cause a conflict, and you might think that your parents hate you, although it is not true.
Are you convinced that your parents hate you because they do one or more of the things listed below? You might want to understand the reason behind your parents behavior.
My Parents Force Their Values On Me
Up until this point in your life, your parents have dictated most parts of your life. They have introduced you to their religion, way of dressing, and social circles. They have chosen which instrument you should play and which sports you should engage in.
Now, you may have new interests. You prefer a different way of dressing. Perhaps, you want to pick up a new sport. Your parents are against it. They want you to stick to what they chose for you because they believe it was the best choice.
Although they may not say it, they are pushing their values because they think it is the best thing to do. To show them that what you want is also good, try sharing some parts of your life with them. Take them to watch a game and help them see why you are interested in the sport.
My Parents Always Compare Me To My Sibling/Peers
Why cant you be like
This statement elicits a lot of resentment from most teens. If your parents are constantly comparing you to someone else who is more successful, you will feel vulnerable.
Sometimes, while trying to motivate you, your parents might compare you negatively to others. They probably do it out of frustration because they wish you could do better. Negative comparisons are hurtful and demotivating.
Bear in mind that your parents are human with weaknesses. On a regular day, when everything is calm at home, approach them, and let them know how you feel about the negative comparisons. Show them that you may not be as good as your siblings in math, but you are more interested in sports.
My Parents Always Boast About Themselves
When I was your age
Does this sound familiar? Parents often boast about their teenage years while trying to motivate their kids to do better. They might say how perfect their grades were, how helpful they were around the house etc.
Being forced to live up to an unrealistic standard can frustrate you. You probably want to become different from your parents and have a unique identity. Instead of acknowledging this, your parents might constantly tell you to be like them.
Although it might be irritating, try to think about where your parents are coming from. They think that their way of living is the best because they have more real-life experiences than you. Share some parts of your life with them to show them that your way works too.
My Parents Took Away My Phone
Some parents take away privileges or favorite items as a way of punishing their kids for doing something wrong. Because you are always on your phone, your parent will see it as a favorite item and take it away to teach you a lesson. It hurts because your phone is your connection to the outside world.
First, you should acknowledge that your actions will get some reaction from your parents. With this in mind, approach your parents and express your remorse. If you believe that the punishment was not justified, do not hesitate to let them know.
Taking away your phone is similar to locking you up in solitary confinement with no way to get out. It hurts, but you do not let your frustration drive you to rebellion. Instead, try to calm down and have an honest conversation with your parents to explain your side of things.
My Parents Always Complain About My Academic Performance
The pressure to perform well in school can be overwhelming. Sometimes, parents have very high expectations that are hard to live up to. Failing, letting your parents down, and feeling like you are not good enough are all heavy burdens to live with.
If you feel that no matter how hard you try, your effort is unappreciated, you might want to talk to your parents about it. Some parents cannot see your point of view and force you to study even hard because thats what they did when they were your age.
Talking to any adults in your life might offer some relief. If all else fails, request your parents to sign you up for therapy. Let them know that the pressure to perform is overwhelming, and you need someone to help you cope.
My Parents Never Let Me Date or Hang Out With Friends
As a teenager, you will find many people attractive. Your newfound sexuality will be a source of concern for your parents. To deal with it, your parents may confine you at home or limit the hours you spend with others after school.
You might feel lonely and left out because all your friends get to hang out together while you are stuck at home. Ask your parents to let you have friends over. If they meet the people you like, they might be more willing to let you go out.
Most parents fear letting their teenagers socialize with bad friends. Show them that your friends are good people, and your parents will worry less about you falling into bad company.
My Parents Are Verbally Abusive
When parents are upset, they lose control and resort to irrational behavior. They might insult you and hurt your feelings by saying terrible things. When it happens several times, you might start internalizing these insults and believing that you are what your parents call you.
There is no excuse for verbal abuse. It is a sign that your parents do not know how to deal with their emotions and make you suffer for it. Try your best not to take these insults as a reflection of who you are.
Talk to any adults in your life about the verbal abuse that you are experiencing. They might intervene and improve the relationship with your parents. If you can, have your family attend a family therapy session to help deal with abusive relationships.
My Parents Hit Me
Nobody deserves to get hit for any reason. If your parents are hitting you, talk to a trusted adult. Hitting is not okay because it shows that your parents are not managing their anger appropriately. Therapy is needed to help them with anger management. You should also have a few sessions to help you deal with the trauma of physical abuse.
Surviving Your Teenage Years
Your life will change a lot throughout your teenage years. As your body changes and you develop a unique identity, there will be a lot of emotional and mental changes that may seem chaotic. Whats more, growing apart from your parents might be hard to deal with.
Here is what you can do to improve your relationships with your parents:
- Let your parents into your life to help them understand the new you.
- Share with them your new hobbies and interests so that they can put their fears to rest. If they see how passionate you are about something new, they might not be so opposed to it.
- Allow them to meet your new friends.
- Learn how to communicate effectively. Most teenagers express how they feel in the heat of an argument. Because the moment is tense and emotional, their parents might not respond well to these feelings.
- Always find a calm moment to have an honest conversation; it will have better results.
- Take a break when you are feeling overwhelmed. Listen to music, take a walk, or spend some time alone in meditation.
Getting some time to process your emotions instead of talking in anger and frustration will help. When you approach your parents calmly, they are more likely to listen to you.
Seeking Professional Help
If you are convinced that your parents hate you, and nothing you are doing to fix it is working, you should get therapy. Talking to a counselor will help you work through the emotions you are feeling. If possible, you can take your parents with you for a family counseling session.
We offer online counseling for teenagers who are not getting along with their parents. Our licensed counselors help people to navigate the anger and anxiety that are caused by family arguments. We offer text, video, and phone therapy to clients from different locations.
Because our efficient support team is always at hand to answer any questions you may have about our service, you can get help at any time of the day. We are discreet and timely, so you should not have to struggle with your feelings any longer.
If you ready to improve yourself using our family counseling service, call us now to get connected to a licensed therapist who will help you.
Try Calmerry therapy
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Main Problems
- The parent-child relationship becomes tense during the teenage years.
- Tension is caused by the teenagers self-realization and discovery of unique preferences.
- Family therapy is a great tool for dealing with the anger and anxiety caused by the changes.
All teenagers reach a point where they ask, Why do my parents hate me, and what can I do? For most people, adolescence signals the start of an emotionally charged period in their lives. For a few years after that, they become more convinced that their parents do not love them.
During adolescence, teenagers begin seeking autonomy. Even though their childhood was great, at some point, teenagers grow distant from their parents. Separating from parents is a natural process that should be encouraged. It prepares teenagers for adulthood. During the process, teenagers develop their ideas, preferences, likes, dislikes, and opinions on various matters. The transition can be rough for both parents and teens.
It is not easy for your parents to let you go. They have spent a large part of their lives loving, protecting, and guiding you. They have instilled their values in you because they want the best for you.
As you go through the period of self-realization, you might depart from your parents values. On the other hand, your parents will reinforce their authority and try to get you back in line. It will cause a conflict, and you might think that your parents hate you, although it is not true.
Are you convinced that your parents hate you because they do one or more of the things listed below? You might want to understand the reason behind your parents behavior.
My Parents Force Their Values On Me
Up until this point in your life, your parents have dictated most parts of your life. They have introduced you to their religion, way of dressing, and social circles. They have chosen which instrument you should play and which sports you should engage in.
Now, you may have new interests. You prefer a different way of dressing. Perhaps, you want to pick up a new sport. Your parents are against it. They want you to stick to what they chose for you because they believe it was the best choice.
Although they may not say it, they are pushing their values because they think it is the best thing to do. To show them that what you want is also good, try sharing some parts of your life with them. Take them to watch a game and help them see why you are interested in the sport.
My Parents Always Compare Me To My Sibling/Peers
Why cant you be like
This statement elicits a lot of resentment from most teens. If your parents are constantly comparing you to someone else who is more successful, you will feel vulnerable.
Sometimes, while trying to motivate you, your parents might compare you negatively to others. They probably do it out of frustration because they wish you could do better. Negative comparisons are hurtful and demotivating.
Bear in mind that your parents are human with weaknesses. On a regular day, when everything is calm at home, approach them, and let them know how you feel about the negative comparisons. Show them that you may not be as good as your siblings in math, but you are more interested in sports.
My Parents Always Boast About Themselves
When I was your age
Does this sound familiar? Parents often boast about their teenage years while trying to motivate their kids to do better. They might say how perfect their grades were, how helpful they were around the house etc.
Being forced to live up to an unrealistic standard can frustrate you. You probably want to become different from your parents and have a unique identity. Instead of acknowledging this, your parents might constantly tell you to be like them.
Although it might be irritating, try to think about where your parents are coming from. They think that their way of living is the best because they have more real-life experiences than you. Share some parts of your life with them to show them that your way works too.
My Parents Took Away My Phone
Some parents take away privileges or favorite items as a way of punishing their kids for doing something wrong. Because you are always on your phone, your parent will see it as a favorite item and take it away to teach you a lesson. It hurts because your phone is your connection to the outside world.
First, you should acknowledge that your actions will get some reaction from your parents. With this in mind, approach your parents and express your remorse. If you believe that the punishment was not justified, do not hesitate to let them know.
Taking away your phone is similar to locking you up in solitary confinement with no way to get out. It hurts, but you do not let your frustration drive you to rebellion. Instead, try to calm down and have an honest conversation with your parents to explain your side of things.
My Parents Always Complain About My Academic Performance
The pressure to perform well in school can be overwhelming. Sometimes, parents have very high expectations that are hard to live up to. Failing, letting your parents down, and feeling like you are not good enough are all heavy burdens to live with.
If you feel that no matter how hard you try, your effort is unappreciated, you might want to talk to your parents about it. Some parents cannot see your point of view and force you to study even hard because thats what they did when they were your age.
Talking to any adults in your life might offer some relief. If all else fails, request your parents to sign you up for therapy. Let them know that the pressure to perform is overwhelming, and you need someone to help you cope.
My Parents Never Let Me Date or Hang Out With Friends
As a teenager, you will find many people attractive. Your newfound sexuality will be a source of concern for your parents. To deal with it, your parents may confine you at home or limit the hours you spend with others after school.
You might feel lonely and left out because all your friends get to hang out together while you are stuck at home. Ask your parents to let you have friends over. If they meet the people you like, they might be more willing to let you go out.
Most parents fear letting their teenagers socialize with bad friends. Show them that your friends are good people, and your parents will worry less about you falling into bad company.
My Parents Are Verbally Abusive
When parents are upset, they lose control and resort to irrational behavior. They might insult you and hurt your feelings by saying terrible things. When it happens several times, you might start internalizing these insults and believing that you are what your parents call you.
There is no excuse for verbal abuse. It is a sign that your parents do not know how to deal with their emotions and make you suffer for it. Try your best not to take these insults as a reflection of who you are.
Talk to any adults in your life about the verbal abuse that you are experiencing. They might intervene and improve the relationship with your parents. If you can, have your family attend a family therapy session to help deal with abusive relationships.
My Parents Hit Me
Nobody deserves to get hit for any reason. If your parents are hitting you, talk to a trusted adult. Hitting is not okay because it shows that your parents are not managing their anger appropriately. Therapy is needed to help them with anger management. You should also have a few sessions to help you deal with the trauma of physical abuse.
Surviving Your Teenage Years
Your life will change a lot throughout your teenage years. As your body changes and you develop a unique identity, there will be a lot of emotional and mental changes that may seem chaotic. Whats more, growing apart from your parents might be hard to deal with.
Here is what you can do to improve your relationships with your parents:
- Let your parents into your life to help them understand the new you.
- Share with them your new hobbies and interests so that they can put their fears to rest. If they see how passionate you are about something new, they might not be so opposed to it.
- Allow them to meet your new friends.
- Learn how to communicate effectively. Most teenagers express how they feel in the heat of an argument. Because the moment is tense and emotional, their parents might not respond well to these feelings.
- Always find a calm moment to have an honest conversation; it will have better results.
- Take a break when you are feeling overwhelmed. Listen to music, take a walk, or spend some time alone in meditation.
Getting some time to process your emotions instead of talking in anger and frustration will help. When you approach your parents calmly, they are more likely to listen to you.
Seeking Professional Help
If you are convinced that your parents hate you, and nothing you are doing to fix it is working, you should get therapy. Talking to a counselor will help you work through the emotions you are feeling. If possible, you can take your parents with you for a family counseling session.
We offer online counseling for teenagers who are not getting along with their parents. Our licensed counselors help people to navigate the anger and anxiety that are caused by family arguments. We offer text, video, and phone therapy to clients from different locations.
Because our efficient support team is always at hand to answer any questions you may have about our service, you can get help at any time of the day. We are discreet and timely, so you should not have to struggle with your feelings any longer.
If you ready to improve yourself using our family counseling service, call us now to get connected to a licensed therapist who will help you.
Try Calmerry therapy
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Written by Kate Skurat on August, 2020
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string(10040) "The relationships between parents and children are never simple. There are times when parents can’t understand their children and vise versa. Or maybe they don’t want to? In this article, we will dig a little deeper into this topic.
We will tell you about:
- Why children feel like their mother hates them
- Why such relationships are complicated
- What can be done about it
Sometimes the problems that occur in such a relationship are very simple and short-term. Usually, they resolve by themselves. However, there are cases when the problems turn into chronic ones that pop up from time to time. It is not a unique thing to experience. In almost all parent-child relationships, there are such cases. Sometimes it feels like your mother hates you. But that is a very strong word. Children feel that there is nothing that could be done and feel hopeless in such cases. Luckily, some things can be done to make things better.
Is It Really Hate?
It is a fact that people think that mothers should love their children for no reason and that it can be only this way. Mothers protect their children and care about them from the moment they are born. Therefore it is impossible to imagine a mother hating her children.
Almost every child had thought at least once in their life that their mother doesn’t like them. But usually, the problem is not regarding the mother, but the child. It is called cognitive distortion and means that the children’s thoughts don’t meet reality.
But it is not always like that. The truth is that sometimes mothers do have some unresolved issues towards the children and can even hate them. If you think that this is your case, we are very sorry for you since it must be very painful. In such cases, people need to get help to sort their thoughts out. A professional and qualified therapist can provide you with support in such a situation.
Why Is the Relationship So Bad?
Every case is different and unique. There is no one reason why a mother
can hate her children that can explain everything. However, there are some well-known generalizations.
First of all, if the child that thinks that their mother doesn’t love them is of a younger age, they can easily be mistaken. Sometimes mothers do such things that the children don’t want them to do because they think that it is best for them that way. In fact, mothers love them dearly and want to protect them from something. Children do not always understand that and tend to think that the situation is entirely different.
Another reason that can be the case here is that parents may want their children to reach some achievements and do the things that they weren’t able to do when they were kids. Of course, your mom will always wish you the best, but it will look like criticism and hatred from your point of view. Or if children do something that their mother said is not allowed to be done, she may be mad that they don’t follow the rules. In such a case, the child will feel hatred, and it will bring some other deeper issues back to life.
There is a well-known term that describes the parent’s behavior when they are way too strict – “tiger parents.” They are the type that has very high expectations for their children, and when they realize that the bar is set high and their child can’t do it, they get upset. They may tell that their children didn’t try hard enough and that they are disappointed. In such cases, the mother still loves her children and wants them to be the best. However, because of the pressure to be perfect, the children end up feeling sad, lonely, and depressed.
How to find out if your mother is toxic or not?
Well, if you notice these factors in her behavior, then you know the answer to this question:
- She doesn’t care about your sad/negative feelings
- She thinks that you are the one to make her happy
- She ruins all the boundaries that you had or want to have
- She cannot get over the thought of you being more important than she is
- She behaves in a cruel way
- She makes you feel scared of her
If you think that at least one of these statements is true about your mother, it doesn’t mean that it is your fault. Sometimes mothers have very motivated reasons for such a behavior that has nothing to do with their children. They are just the best to blow off some steam. To improve the situation as much as possible, speak up. Don’t be afraid to tell her what you feel. But don’t be sad if it doesn’t work out the way you hoped it would.
Before jumping to any conclusion about your mother’s behavior, first think about the reason for that behavior. Maybe she wants the best for you, and it is her way of telling you that. If it is your case, go and talk to her. Let her know how you feel. Usually, in such cases, the mother realizes her mistakes, and you can discuss the ways to support and love each other better.
She May Be Jealous
Jealousy is an emotion that has the power to ruin mother-kid relationships. Sometimes parents get jealous about some actions of the child. They wish that they were as smart as a child, or think that the child has too many great things in his/her life when they had a complicated childhood. Or maybe the mother misses being young and beautiful and is jealous that her daughter is beautiful right now. Remember that both you and your mother are simply human beings that tend to make mistakes and find it hard to control feelings. There is nothing normal in being jealous of anything about one’s child. But sometimes it is extremely difficult to do something about it and control this emotion.
Is there anything that you did to hurt your mother? Think carefully. You might not have even noticed the moment that you have hurt your mother, but actually, you did. Maybe she is still hurt but doesn’t want to bring that topic up because she doesn’t want to go through all of that over again. If you think that this is the case, and you even know why that happened, go talk to your mother and apologize. Maybe it won’t help right away, but it will speed up the emotional healing process, and you and your parents will understand each other better.
What Can You Do?
Think for a while, and try to analyze your mom’s behavior. Does she really hate you? If the answer is yes, there is not much you can do. First of all, try to talk to her about your feelings. Tell her everything that you have been experiencing and all your thoughts. Be open to the discussion. Usually, parents don’t even realize the impact of their behavior on their children until they point it out.
It is essential to remember not to put your hopes too high. There is nothing you can do to change your parents. However, many things can help you cope with the stress caused by such a situation. Focus on yourself. Think about your behavior and how you can improve it. Start small. No one reached anything without crying in the dark. You need to be strong and take action to invest in your own growth.
The most effective approach to improve the situation is forgiveness. One has to work with the feelings that were caused by your mother’s behavior and take the necessary measures to get past it. As soon as you forgive, you will notice that you are free from pain and resentment. With time you will be able to manage anger and hard feelings. But the feelings are not the only things that are affected by such behavior. It can affect your mental health, as well. Sometimes children even feel depressed because of it. The best way to cope with these issues is to talk to someone about it. Don’t keep it inside yourself. Many people can help you improve your relationships with your parents and bring back joy into your life.
The Bottom Line
“I think that I am incapable of getting through this situation by myself.” Our therapists are used to hearing statements like this. If you think that you feel like that, too, then you can benefit from therapy sessions. Here at Calmerry, anyone can get professional help. Our database contains hundreds of qualified specialists that can help you find a solution to the mother-child issues.
If you have been hurt not only emotionally, but also physically, don’t be afraid, there is a way out of such a situation. Call the domestic abuse hotline right away, and they will provide you with further instructions.
If you live in a toxic environment, you will have problems daily. Get the qualified help that you deserve and resolve any issues that you may have. Therapists provide not only individual sessions but also offer family counseling. The second option is the best one in such a case. The expert will help you deal with a situation and provide you with
professional advice on how to change it for the better and feel happier. Contact us to learn more about how our therapists can help you improve your relationships.
Try Calmerry therapy
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string(10040) "The relationships between parents and children are never simple. There are times when parents can’t understand their children and vise versa. Or maybe they don’t want to? In this article, we will dig a little deeper into this topic.
We will tell you about:
- Why children feel like their mother hates them
- Why such relationships are complicated
- What can be done about it
Sometimes the problems that occur in such a relationship are very simple and short-term. Usually, they resolve by themselves. However, there are cases when the problems turn into chronic ones that pop up from time to time. It is not a unique thing to experience. In almost all parent-child relationships, there are such cases. Sometimes it feels like your mother hates you. But that is a very strong word. Children feel that there is nothing that could be done and feel hopeless in such cases. Luckily, some things can be done to make things better.
Is It Really Hate?
It is a fact that people think that mothers should love their children for no reason and that it can be only this way. Mothers protect their children and care about them from the moment they are born. Therefore it is impossible to imagine a mother hating her children.
Almost every child had thought at least once in their life that their mother doesn’t like them. But usually, the problem is not regarding the mother, but the child. It is called cognitive distortion and means that the children’s thoughts don’t meet reality.
But it is not always like that. The truth is that sometimes mothers do have some unresolved issues towards the children and can even hate them. If you think that this is your case, we are very sorry for you since it must be very painful. In such cases, people need to get help to sort their thoughts out. A professional and qualified therapist can provide you with support in such a situation.
Why Is the Relationship So Bad?
Every case is different and unique. There is no one reason why a mother
can hate her children that can explain everything. However, there are some well-known generalizations.
First of all, if the child that thinks that their mother doesn’t love them is of a younger age, they can easily be mistaken. Sometimes mothers do such things that the children don’t want them to do because they think that it is best for them that way. In fact, mothers love them dearly and want to protect them from something. Children do not always understand that and tend to think that the situation is entirely different.
Another reason that can be the case here is that parents may want their children to reach some achievements and do the things that they weren’t able to do when they were kids. Of course, your mom will always wish you the best, but it will look like criticism and hatred from your point of view. Or if children do something that their mother said is not allowed to be done, she may be mad that they don’t follow the rules. In such a case, the child will feel hatred, and it will bring some other deeper issues back to life.
There is a well-known term that describes the parent’s behavior when they are way too strict – “tiger parents.” They are the type that has very high expectations for their children, and when they realize that the bar is set high and their child can’t do it, they get upset. They may tell that their children didn’t try hard enough and that they are disappointed. In such cases, the mother still loves her children and wants them to be the best. However, because of the pressure to be perfect, the children end up feeling sad, lonely, and depressed.
How to find out if your mother is toxic or not?
Well, if you notice these factors in her behavior, then you know the answer to this question:
- She doesn’t care about your sad/negative feelings
- She thinks that you are the one to make her happy
- She ruins all the boundaries that you had or want to have
- She cannot get over the thought of you being more important than she is
- She behaves in a cruel way
- She makes you feel scared of her
If you think that at least one of these statements is true about your mother, it doesn’t mean that it is your fault. Sometimes mothers have very motivated reasons for such a behavior that has nothing to do with their children. They are just the best to blow off some steam. To improve the situation as much as possible, speak up. Don’t be afraid to tell her what you feel. But don’t be sad if it doesn’t work out the way you hoped it would.
Before jumping to any conclusion about your mother’s behavior, first think about the reason for that behavior. Maybe she wants the best for you, and it is her way of telling you that. If it is your case, go and talk to her. Let her know how you feel. Usually, in such cases, the mother realizes her mistakes, and you can discuss the ways to support and love each other better.
She May Be Jealous
Jealousy is an emotion that has the power to ruin mother-kid relationships. Sometimes parents get jealous about some actions of the child. They wish that they were as smart as a child, or think that the child has too many great things in his/her life when they had a complicated childhood. Or maybe the mother misses being young and beautiful and is jealous that her daughter is beautiful right now. Remember that both you and your mother are simply human beings that tend to make mistakes and find it hard to control feelings. There is nothing normal in being jealous of anything about one’s child. But sometimes it is extremely difficult to do something about it and control this emotion.
Is there anything that you did to hurt your mother? Think carefully. You might not have even noticed the moment that you have hurt your mother, but actually, you did. Maybe she is still hurt but doesn’t want to bring that topic up because she doesn’t want to go through all of that over again. If you think that this is the case, and you even know why that happened, go talk to your mother and apologize. Maybe it won’t help right away, but it will speed up the emotional healing process, and you and your parents will understand each other better.
What Can You Do?
Think for a while, and try to analyze your mom’s behavior. Does she really hate you? If the answer is yes, there is not much you can do. First of all, try to talk to her about your feelings. Tell her everything that you have been experiencing and all your thoughts. Be open to the discussion. Usually, parents don’t even realize the impact of their behavior on their children until they point it out.
It is essential to remember not to put your hopes too high. There is nothing you can do to change your parents. However, many things can help you cope with the stress caused by such a situation. Focus on yourself. Think about your behavior and how you can improve it. Start small. No one reached anything without crying in the dark. You need to be strong and take action to invest in your own growth.
The most effective approach to improve the situation is forgiveness. One has to work with the feelings that were caused by your mother’s behavior and take the necessary measures to get past it. As soon as you forgive, you will notice that you are free from pain and resentment. With time you will be able to manage anger and hard feelings. But the feelings are not the only things that are affected by such behavior. It can affect your mental health, as well. Sometimes children even feel depressed because of it. The best way to cope with these issues is to talk to someone about it. Don’t keep it inside yourself. Many people can help you improve your relationships with your parents and bring back joy into your life.
The Bottom Line
“I think that I am incapable of getting through this situation by myself.” Our therapists are used to hearing statements like this. If you think that you feel like that, too, then you can benefit from therapy sessions. Here at Calmerry, anyone can get professional help. Our database contains hundreds of qualified specialists that can help you find a solution to the mother-child issues.
If you have been hurt not only emotionally, but also physically, don’t be afraid, there is a way out of such a situation. Call the domestic abuse hotline right away, and they will provide you with further instructions.
If you live in a toxic environment, you will have problems daily. Get the qualified help that you deserve and resolve any issues that you may have. Therapists provide not only individual sessions but also offer family counseling. The second option is the best one in such a case. The expert will help you deal with a situation and provide you with
professional advice on how to change it for the better and feel happier. Contact us to learn more about how our therapists can help you improve your relationships.
Try Calmerry therapy
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Written by Kate Skurat on September, 2020
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string(10271) "When you walk down the aisle to marry the girl of your dreams, you can’t help but have a “forever” feeling in mind. It is the person you’re going to share life and grow old with. It never occurs to any couple that the love they share may fizzle out.
It happens. Marriage is challenging. As you go through the relationship, you’ll argue with your wife about different things. In a healthy relationship, you’ll find ways to resolve the dispute and move forward. However, not all disagreements are easy to fix.
Sometimes, you go for days or weeks without talking to each other. You may also start feeling like she’s drifting away from you and falling out of love. It can be disheartening, but it’s not unusual.
Is your wife acting distant? Do you suspect she’s falling out of love? It’s a signal your relationship needs some work. Observe the signs below and make changes.
My Wife Doesn’t Love Me – How to Confirm Your Suspicions
It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been married — you can’t read your wife’s mind. Even if you suspect she’s fallen out of love with you, you can’t be sure unless she confirms it. However, because you know her well, you’ll notice differences in her behavior.
If she’s displaying any of the following signs, it’s an indication you should start working on mending your relationship.
- Not opening up a lot: if you’re used to hearing details about her life, and she’s not doing it anymore, she’s drifting;
- Treats you differently: she’s cold or doesn’t want to interact with you as she did before;
- Your wife is always busy: every time you try to do something together, she makes up an excuse;
- Unfaithfulness: cheating is a red flag and a sign she falling out of love with you;
- She’s not involved: she no longer cares what you’re up to or where you are;
- Your wife no longer argues with you: if she doesn’t care whether or not you resolve issues, she may not be invested in the relationship;
- No consideration for your feelings: if she doesn’t consult you anymore and does only as she wants, your relationship could be in trouble.
To conclude that your wife doesn’t love you anymore, you must have seen one or more of these signs. Nonetheless, you should not consider your assumptions as facts. Your wife may be showing some of these signs because she is going through a tough period of life. The only way to find out if she still loves you is to ask her and discuss it.
How to Win Her Back and Rekindle Your Love
It’s normal to hit a rough patch in your marriage. All couples get there at some point in their relationship. You feel like your partner isn’t as in love with you as she was before. Before you decide your relationship is over, consider rekindling the flame.
Chances are your wife is overwhelmed with the challenges in your relationship. Therefore, there’s a great chance of fixing the issue. So don’t give up! Use the following tips to get her love back.
Don’t Jump into Conclusions
When your wife is showing signs that they no longer love you, it’s easy to conclude the relationship is over. You may also be tempted to retaliate. Resist the temptation. Even though you’ve lived with her for a long time and know her well, you can’t tell for sure what she’s feeling in some situations.
Before you take any action, speak to your wife. Express your concerns and find out what she’s feeling. This way, you’ll be able to decide how to address this problem. Besides, you may find that she’s troubled by something that has an easy fix. So don’t assume you know where her head is at before having a conversation with her.
Consider Your Contribution to the Situation
It’s easy to assign blame in a relationship. If you’re experiencing issues in the marriage, your first instinct may be to assume that there’s someone else. However, you need to remember that a relationship is a team sport. If something is amiss, you’re both responsible because it only works if you both do your part.
Therefore, before you blame her for the current state of your relationship, try to figure out your contribution. Have you been absent? Have you denied her attention? Which areas could you improve on to make the situation better?
Be the Bigger Person
If you’ve had disagreements, you’ll see a lot of the signs above. Most probably, your wife is upset. Therefore, she’ll not want to be close to you and may even be indifferent. It often happens in any family.
Giving her the silent treatment and hoping she apologizes won’t fix things. If she is displaying most of the signs in the list above, there’s a high likelihood she is more affected. Be the bigger person and try to resolve the conflict before it gets out of hand.
Start Dating Her Again
One of the mistakes married couples make is paying less attention to each other after the wedding. Most people no longer have date nights and don’t prioritize the little things. If you’re sailing in the same boat, it may be time to kick it up a notch.
Don’t wait for Valentine’s Day to get your wife flowers and chocolate. Do it randomly. Send her flowers and romantic texts at work. Take her out to dinner for no reason. Remember the things you did while courting her and recreate some of your memories.
If she can’t stop talking about your first date, take her back to that spot and make new memories. When you do it, you remind her why she fell in love with you. She’s more likely to change her behavior towards you when there’s a sign of hope.
Shower Her with Love
Everyone has a different love language. According to Gary Chapman’s “The Five Love Languages,” people show love in various ways. It’s possible she is not feeling loved because you’re not expressing her love language.
Therefore, take a leaf from Chapman’s book and consider the following way of expressing love:
- Gifts: you don’t have to go overboard — gift her will little surprises to affirm your love;
- Words of affirmation: don’t just show her you love, say it in words face to face or in written format;
- Physical touch: hug her, hold her hand, cuddle, and ensure she feels your presence;
- Quality time: do things she loves or take vacations together;
- Acts of service: anticipate her needs and find a different way to make her work easier at home and in your relationship.
These are some of the ways to express your love. However, don’t expect it to be easy. It takes a lot of willpower to show love to someone who isn’t reciprocating. However, keep in mind why you’re going through all the trouble — to save your marriage and rekindle your love.
Be Patient
If you had an argument recently, it might take a while before you get things back to normal. Therefore, don’t expect it to happen overnight. Keep trying to express your love for her. However, don’t just start doing things without addressing the root cause of the problem.
If your wife has opened up, try to remedy the situation first. If it was your fault, apologize and find out what it will take to get her to forgive you and move forward. Also, accept that it may take some time before she forgives you and expresses her love towards you.
Consistency Is Key
When trying to win their partner’s affection back, most people go overboard. They take them out on dates, offer foot rubs, and even do whatever they need to feel comfortable. There’s nothing wrong with doing any of these things.
The trouble comes in when you stop doing it because you got what you wanted. Once your wife has started showing affection towards you, don’t stop work on the relationship. Otherwise, you may end up where you started.
Compliment and Appreciate Her
Compliments and appreciation go a long way when you’re trying to rekindle her love for you. Don’t be indifferent to what she does for you every day. If she does your laundry, makes your dinner, and ensures the household is running smoothly, praise it.
Also, drop random compliments here and there to make her feel admired. Women love to be seen and appreciated. So, when you see she’s looking hot in that dress, use your words!
When All Your Attempts Don’t Work
Sometimes, no matter what you do, your wife will still act indifferent towards you. She may do so if she’s having a hard time moving past what got her there. In such situations, consider seeing a
relationship counselor. Therapists are trained to guide you through relationship issues and help you improve the situation. Family issues are challenging but it’s possible to find a solution.
Also, remember the following key takeaways when you decide to work on your marriage:
- Don’t jump into conclusions: ask her if your suspicions are true;
- Be patient and shower her with love;
- Consider seeing a therapist if your efforts don’t bear fruit.
If you’re considering relationship counseling, take a survey at Calmerry. We’ll connect you to a licensed counselor to guide you on how to improve your relationship.
Try Calmerry therapy
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It happens. Marriage is challenging. As you go through the relationship, you’ll argue with your wife about different things. In a healthy relationship, you’ll find ways to resolve the dispute and move forward. However, not all disagreements are easy to fix.
Sometimes, you go for days or weeks without talking to each other. You may also start feeling like she’s drifting away from you and falling out of love. It can be disheartening, but it’s not unusual.
Is your wife acting distant? Do you suspect she’s falling out of love? It’s a signal your relationship needs some work. Observe the signs below and make changes.
My Wife Doesn’t Love Me – How to Confirm Your Suspicions
It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been married — you can’t read your wife’s mind. Even if you suspect she’s fallen out of love with you, you can’t be sure unless she confirms it. However, because you know her well, you’ll notice differences in her behavior.
If she’s displaying any of the following signs, it’s an indication you should start working on mending your relationship.
- Not opening up a lot: if you’re used to hearing details about her life, and she’s not doing it anymore, she’s drifting;
- Treats you differently: she’s cold or doesn’t want to interact with you as she did before;
- Your wife is always busy: every time you try to do something together, she makes up an excuse;
- Unfaithfulness: cheating is a red flag and a sign she falling out of love with you;
- She’s not involved: she no longer cares what you’re up to or where you are;
- Your wife no longer argues with you: if she doesn’t care whether or not you resolve issues, she may not be invested in the relationship;
- No consideration for your feelings: if she doesn’t consult you anymore and does only as she wants, your relationship could be in trouble.
To conclude that your wife doesn’t love you anymore, you must have seen one or more of these signs. Nonetheless, you should not consider your assumptions as facts. Your wife may be showing some of these signs because she is going through a tough period of life. The only way to find out if she still loves you is to ask her and discuss it.
How to Win Her Back and Rekindle Your Love
It’s normal to hit a rough patch in your marriage. All couples get there at some point in their relationship. You feel like your partner isn’t as in love with you as she was before. Before you decide your relationship is over, consider rekindling the flame.
Chances are your wife is overwhelmed with the challenges in your relationship. Therefore, there’s a great chance of fixing the issue. So don’t give up! Use the following tips to get her love back.
Don’t Jump into Conclusions
When your wife is showing signs that they no longer love you, it’s easy to conclude the relationship is over. You may also be tempted to retaliate. Resist the temptation. Even though you’ve lived with her for a long time and know her well, you can’t tell for sure what she’s feeling in some situations.
Before you take any action, speak to your wife. Express your concerns and find out what she’s feeling. This way, you’ll be able to decide how to address this problem. Besides, you may find that she’s troubled by something that has an easy fix. So don’t assume you know where her head is at before having a conversation with her.
Consider Your Contribution to the Situation
It’s easy to assign blame in a relationship. If you’re experiencing issues in the marriage, your first instinct may be to assume that there’s someone else. However, you need to remember that a relationship is a team sport. If something is amiss, you’re both responsible because it only works if you both do your part.
Therefore, before you blame her for the current state of your relationship, try to figure out your contribution. Have you been absent? Have you denied her attention? Which areas could you improve on to make the situation better?
Be the Bigger Person
If you’ve had disagreements, you’ll see a lot of the signs above. Most probably, your wife is upset. Therefore, she’ll not want to be close to you and may even be indifferent. It often happens in any family.
Giving her the silent treatment and hoping she apologizes won’t fix things. If she is displaying most of the signs in the list above, there’s a high likelihood she is more affected. Be the bigger person and try to resolve the conflict before it gets out of hand.
Start Dating Her Again
One of the mistakes married couples make is paying less attention to each other after the wedding. Most people no longer have date nights and don’t prioritize the little things. If you’re sailing in the same boat, it may be time to kick it up a notch.
Don’t wait for Valentine’s Day to get your wife flowers and chocolate. Do it randomly. Send her flowers and romantic texts at work. Take her out to dinner for no reason. Remember the things you did while courting her and recreate some of your memories.
If she can’t stop talking about your first date, take her back to that spot and make new memories. When you do it, you remind her why she fell in love with you. She’s more likely to change her behavior towards you when there’s a sign of hope.
Shower Her with Love
Everyone has a different love language. According to Gary Chapman’s “The Five Love Languages,” people show love in various ways. It’s possible she is not feeling loved because you’re not expressing her love language.
Therefore, take a leaf from Chapman’s book and consider the following way of expressing love:
- Gifts: you don’t have to go overboard — gift her will little surprises to affirm your love;
- Words of affirmation: don’t just show her you love, say it in words face to face or in written format;
- Physical touch: hug her, hold her hand, cuddle, and ensure she feels your presence;
- Quality time: do things she loves or take vacations together;
- Acts of service: anticipate her needs and find a different way to make her work easier at home and in your relationship.
These are some of the ways to express your love. However, don’t expect it to be easy. It takes a lot of willpower to show love to someone who isn’t reciprocating. However, keep in mind why you’re going through all the trouble — to save your marriage and rekindle your love.
Be Patient
If you had an argument recently, it might take a while before you get things back to normal. Therefore, don’t expect it to happen overnight. Keep trying to express your love for her. However, don’t just start doing things without addressing the root cause of the problem.
If your wife has opened up, try to remedy the situation first. If it was your fault, apologize and find out what it will take to get her to forgive you and move forward. Also, accept that it may take some time before she forgives you and expresses her love towards you.
Consistency Is Key
When trying to win their partner’s affection back, most people go overboard. They take them out on dates, offer foot rubs, and even do whatever they need to feel comfortable. There’s nothing wrong with doing any of these things.
The trouble comes in when you stop doing it because you got what you wanted. Once your wife has started showing affection towards you, don’t stop work on the relationship. Otherwise, you may end up where you started.
Compliment and Appreciate Her
Compliments and appreciation go a long way when you’re trying to rekindle her love for you. Don’t be indifferent to what she does for you every day. If she does your laundry, makes your dinner, and ensures the household is running smoothly, praise it.
Also, drop random compliments here and there to make her feel admired. Women love to be seen and appreciated. So, when you see she’s looking hot in that dress, use your words!
When All Your Attempts Don’t Work
Sometimes, no matter what you do, your wife will still act indifferent towards you. She may do so if she’s having a hard time moving past what got her there. In such situations, consider seeing a
relationship counselor. Therapists are trained to guide you through relationship issues and help you improve the situation. Family issues are challenging but it’s possible to find a solution.
Also, remember the following key takeaways when you decide to work on your marriage:
- Don’t jump into conclusions: ask her if your suspicions are true;
- Be patient and shower her with love;
- Consider seeing a therapist if your efforts don’t bear fruit.
If you’re considering relationship counseling, take a survey at Calmerry. We’ll connect you to a licensed counselor to guide you on how to improve your relationship.
Try Calmerry therapy
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Written by Kate Skurat on September, 2020
